does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize