areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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