My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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