I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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