my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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