How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize