All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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