I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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