Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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