So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize