Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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