Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dear god my vagina.
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