Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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