I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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