she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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