I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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