I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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