Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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