brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Screwed.edu
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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