Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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