How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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