What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize