I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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