No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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