I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
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I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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