ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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