I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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