Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And then he peed in my hair
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