yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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