not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize