so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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