That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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