PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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