ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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