My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize