I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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