I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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