Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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