I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You can't special order awesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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