So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I touched a dick in church today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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