Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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