Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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