READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize