i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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