I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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