All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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