haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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