I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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