The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so let's talk penis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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