this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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